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So why do we worry about gifts?

Why in the world do we spend so much time and energy agonizing over and shopping for the perfect gift for each child? All of us know that the gift is really not the important thing, at least for the first three or four years of life, yet we continueto torment ourselves each birthday and holiday season. Our older grandson was THRILLED yesterday to claim the box from a gift given to grandma. He saw not a box, but the perfect size box for a Buzz Lightyear helmet. For the rest of the afternoon, on the way home, and the next morning, he was a helmet head and was happy as a clam. That should make Christmas gift-giving easy! Whatever the gift is, he will like the box at least as much.

An interesting week

This has been such an interesting week. It is exactly 7 days since we received the news which has turned our world upside down. In that week, there were so many family members and good friends to whom I needed to talk, who had been worrying and deserved to hear first hand what the news was.

So, hard as it was each time I needed to share the news, doing that has been a blessing. If I didn't know it before (and I did), I was reminded how lucky I am to have such a group with us as we move along this journey. Family and friends who love us, support us, pray for us, make phone calls for us, cook for us, cry with us, and just love us and share a moment or two with us, make us very lucky people.

My life partner shared a poem which had been sent to him. You may have seen it before, but I hadn't. I keep reading it, trying to internalize and believe it. Here it is.

What cancer cannot do

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple love,

It cannot shatter hope,

It cannot corrode faith,

It cannot destroy peace,

It cannot kill friendship,

It cannot suppress memories,

It cannot silence courage,

It cannot invade the soul,

It cannot steal eternal life,

It cannot conquer the spirit.

Author Unknown

Thank you everyone, for your support and love.

'Tis the season...

On a brisk Wednesday morning, we set off to a (sort of) local restaurant and gift shop. This was the setting for the beautiful July wedding a year and a bit ago. Now however, the flowers were not blooming (except in the shop) and the winds were a tad chilly, but the food was as good as ever and the decorations, furniture and gifts festive. It was just what we needed. This quilt, quite simply made of felt stitched with a blanket stitch, was something that caught my eye.
We found toys upstairs, which the boy and his grandpa loved to explore. Doesn't this little angel look like she is part of the decor?
Breakfast, lunch, brunch - whatever you call it, chocolate chip pancakes, with chocolate sauce and chocolate milk, hit the spot!
Our younger boy was very content as he moved from lap to lap, even if he didn't get any chocolate!
Yummy, yummy, we like this place. Can you spot the fake, "for the camera" smile?
How could you not get into the spirit of the season with displays like this around? I already have Christmas dishes, but could have bought these as well. Had to settle for buying a couple of Christmas spreaders for gifts. One can never have too many spreaders!

This will be an interesting Christmas. Since we thought we would be away, all gifts have been selected and wrapped. Christmas cards will get sent since there is now time to create them. The locations for dinners have been decided (thanks girls), and menu choices will soon follow. I think this may be a Christmas without too many duties for me, at least I hope that by then I am officially recovering. While I knew two months ago that this Christmas would be very different, never in my wildest imaginings did I envision this scenario. Thanks to all for your good wishes and prayers. I am most grateful for them all.

Some random pictures...

In the midst of all the events which have caused us to be sad, it is good to stop and think about the people and events which make us laugh. Here are three of them. The new boy (he is already much bigger than this) in a comfortable sleeper and...
the new boy in his Hallowe'en outfit with someone dressed up as Grandpa. This young man is growing by leaps and bounds - already out of 0-3 month size at only 2 months, and ahead of his male cousin in weight at the same age. He is trying to let his mom and dad get some rest at night, but loves company and attention during the day.
On Hallowe'en we also had a visit from the Easter Bunny and...
Strawberry Shortcake and her dad. Thanks for driving over!
Mr. Vipond got a real carved face for the big day (then was composted).
Sad as we are for the reason for the visit, we were happy to welcome Uncle from the East for a weekend. He has now twice met the newest member of the family before the rest of his family has been able to do so, but they will have the chance soon. Get ready...here they come!

Here's What I Will Remember

Those of you who attend the funeral tomorrow will hear some of this. For those of you who are not able to attend, here is what I wrote about two years ago, when we began to really lose my mother-in-law.

When I think of the past 39 years, and my relationship with my mother-in-law, many things come to mind. There are a million and one mother-in-law jokes, and not one of them applies to her.

From the beginning, I was welcomed into the family. Even when I thought I wanted to go away near the beginning of our relationship, my mother-in-law supported me, even though she knew it was hard for both her son and for me. I should have known then what was in store- a lifetime of unconditional support for whatever I, or whatever her son and I, decided to do.

You see, to her, there is nothing so perfect as her children and grandchildren. So, by extension, I was practically perfect too. At least I never heard or even sensed any criticism. She could not conceive of any of us doing anything wrong. She believed in all of us, to a fault. I remember one April Fool's day when we got our three year old son to call her and say, in his little boy voice, "Grandma, Mommy and Daddy went out last night, and left us with a babysitter, and then the babysitter had to go home, and mommy and daddy aren't here....April Fool!". I don't think she ever quite forgave us for that one, but we were looked upon as rascals, not as bad people.

If she ever did begin to suggest something - usually to give the grandchildren something they wanted and we didn't want them to have, we could hear Grandpa say in the background, "Mother, they are not your children!". That put an end to any suggestions.

She could sew anything from nothing. She made wedding dresses, little boys' coats, dresses for her granddaughters. She spent hours on them, and was never so delighted as when in a fabric store in the States, because there she could find just the right fabric. I didn't know her when she was making her sons' clothing from her husband's old uniforms, but I saw the pictures, and know she did it. They looked smart. And she always looked smart - well put together, not always with something new, but certainly with something that suited her. We were all so delighted when Grandma and Grandpa began to go on trips to Texas for the bulk of the winter. It was not her first choice to miss Christmas, but she did enjoy the shopping in Mexico and the walks with friends. Not the exercises in the pool though - those were reserved for the apartment pool at home.

We have so many good memories, memories of going to their apartment to swim in the pool and dry off in the sauna, ribs with sauce and ribs without sauce, her delighted face when we arrived in Texas for one Christmas, her unfailing good manners - even in her last few months she was still thanking us for coming to visit. Sometimes I wasn't sure that she knew exactly who I was, but she knew I belonged somehow, and she never forgot to thank me for coming.

I learned a lot from her, mostly about how to be a good person. I am not the ever forgiving, not a bad word about anyone person that she was, but I can think of her, and try to live up to her model.

I will miss her more than I can express.